Sibling rivalry

Having more than one dog is a lot like having more than one child, I'm finding. They are together, you are the other; in one case the parent, in the other pack leader, in both cases the authority figure. In our little family Sadie is like a bossy big sister; Bear the pesky little sister. It's been a revelation to me just how much I've come to love Bear in spite of her pestering. She has a way of cocking her head and looking at you with her bright black eyes. In the past it was mostly a look of "What's up?" or "What should we do now?" It has broken our hearts sometimes now, that after a showdown with Sadie, it's a look of pure bafflement or even fear. On the other hand, Sadie often has a very sad look in her amber eyes. It's like she knows some ancient secret and it ain't good. She's trying mightily to fit in here and not sure that she's succeeding. They went with us on Thanksgiving to our son's house some 90 miles away. They couldn't be in the brand new addition to his house with seventeen people and it was very cold outside. We put them in their crates in my son's workshop in the garage and he heated it up for them. I think it may have seemed to Sadie that she was back in an animal shelter. When it was time to go home, Bear was running around in the snow, but Sadie jumped immediately into the driver's seat of our truck. I had to pull her out. [She doesn't know how to drive.] But she was boosted into the back seat, and even though she doesn't have much room back there because crazy Bear has to be in her crate, Sadie was relieved to be going home. She has never played much with toys at our house. It has seemed to me part of her effort to fit in that she occasionally takes a stab at it without seeming to enjoy it much. But on Thanksgiving night, when we came into our house, she grabbed the red and yellow lobster that squeaks and tossed it in the air over and over and jumped around the living room. It did my heart good to see her so happy. Since that night the lobster has been her toy. She carries it around and brings it to show me and sometimes puts it on the couch beside her when she takes a nap. Bear watches all this with interest, but not jealousy. She's never liked the lobster, my one and only purchase at Warroad's new dollar store. But last night there was trouble, and it all started with the lobster. I was watching T.V. after supper. Sadie brought me the lobster. We squeaked it and bonked it on her nose a few times and she went to her favorite spot on the couch. Bear immediately came over to me with one of the soup bones. I pulled it away from her and bonked her on the nose and she grabbed it back. We were having a merry old time, but apparently Sadie was seething over there on the couch. She jumped down and grabbed Bear by the neck with much snarling and growling. I scolded her severely. This encouraged Bear to take a stand. It was her turn to growl and snap her teeth. Sadie went slinking off to a spot far away from us. With children or with dogs, when the parent or pack leader intervenes, things get more complicated. If possible, intervention is best avoided. I so love it when they are in accord with one another; when I see them running across the sand ridge together with some goal that I can't know. Or, when after a good run, they stand nose to nose drinking from a clear puddle in the woods. So often, in an effort to be more a part of it, I have to say a few words and break the spell.